Trusting the Process: A Reflection on Life’s Cycles and Growth

Living is one of the greatest experiences of existence. If we were more intentional about how we perceive and live our lives, we might transcend beyond the limitations of societal conditioning. So often, we move through life with a narrow focus on our responsibilities, our routines, and the expectations others place on us, that we forget to see the deeper connections between ourselves and the world around us.

Recently, I had an experience that reminded me of the wisdom inherent in nature—something we often overlook. A week ago, I noticed a plant in my home that was once thriving had suddenly lost all its leaves. Initially, I was concerned. The vibrant green life it once showed was now gone, leaving behind bare branches. My instinct was to react, to do something, to fix it. But instead, I let it be. I continued to water it, care for it as I always had, and trusted that this change was part of a process I didn’t fully understand.

As the days passed, I began to reflect on this plant and its sudden change. Maybe it wasn’t a sign of decline or something that needed saving. Maybe this was just a natural part of its evolution—an energy shift, a process it was going through. So, I let it be. I nurtured it without forcing anything, simply trusting in its ability to transform in its own time.

Today, after weeks of patient waiting, I saw the most beautiful rebirth. The plant that had seemed lifeless was sprouting new leaves, even more vibrant than before. It was a reminder that sometimes, we don’t need to interfere with or control the process. Nature is wise. It knows what it needs to grow, to shed what no longer serves it, and to begin anew.

This simple experience with my plant was a profound reflection on life. Just as the plant needed time to go through its own process, we, too, experience seasons of change, growth, and even shedding parts of ourselves that we’ve outgrown. We may not always understand why certain things happen, why we face setbacks, or why it feels like something inside us has withered. But if we trust the process and nurture ourselves through these phases, we open the door to transformation.

Much like the plant, we need space to evolve. There will be moments when we feel vulnerable or unsure, when it feels like something in us has been lost. But just as nature teaches us, growth often happens beneath the surface. We must trust that even in the quiet, unseen moments, life is still working in our favor.

It’s important to remember that life, in all its complexity, moves in cycles. There are times of abundance and times of shedding. Times of blooming and times of resting. If we can accept these cycles as part of the natural flow, we can approach our own transformations with more grace and understanding. We can stop resisting the changes and instead, embrace them as opportunities for deeper growth.

In a world that constantly pushes us to do more, achieve more, and be more, it’s easy to forget that sometimes, the most profound changes come from simply being. From allowing ourselves to go through the natural ebbs and flows of life, without judgment or resistance. To trust that just like the plant, we have an innate wisdom that knows how to heal, how to grow, and how to thrive—if we let it.

So, the next time you feel like you’re losing something, whether it’s a part of yourself or something external, take a moment to breathe. Trust the process. Remember that life is full of cycles, and just like the plant, you too will bloom again when the time is right. Nature is wise, and so are you.

—Edwin Gil

A Heartfelt Thanks to My Mentors: Reflections on Aging with Dignity and Compassion

Gratitude has a profound way of shaping our lives. It’s in this spirit that I want to take a moment to express my deepest thanks to the mentors who have guided me along my journey. A special acknowledgment goes to Michelle Shaul, whose unwavering love, support, and belief in me—even when I couldn’t believe in myself—have been a constant source of strength. Michelle, your kindness and encouragement have illuminated my path in ways that words cannot fully capture.

I’d also like to share a memory that has stayed with me for many years—one that speaks to the depth of wisdom that comes from those who’ve lived long lives and faced the realities of aging with grace. When I was working at Coffey & Thompson, I would often notice Mr. Paul Thompson, the owner, heading out to a funeral almost every weekend. One day, out of curiosity, I asked, “Mr. Thompson, are you going to another funeral?” He gave me a gentle smile and replied, “Edwin, life has seasons, and the season I’m in now is the season of saying goodbye to my friends. One day, you and others will come to say goodbye to me.”

At the time, his words didn’t fully sink in. But as the years passed, I found myself standing in a room, just as he had predicted, saying my own farewell to him. It was then that I realized how much wisdom he had imparted to me, not only through his words but through his actions and the way he approached life’s transitions. One of the most enduring lessons I learned from Mr. Thompson was the importance of respecting and showing gratitude toward the older generations.

He often reflected on the reality of aging, lamenting how society seems to cast aside those who are no longer in their prime. “We older folks have worked hard to make changes and improve our communities,” he would say. “I don’t understand why growing old has become the worst thing—nobody wants to be around us anymore, and we’re no longer seen as competitive in the job market.” Perhaps this is why so many of his older friends ended up working for him—his respect for them was palpable, and his philosophy on life was rooted in compassion and understanding.

The more I reflect on Mr. Thompson’s words, the more I realize how relevant they are to my own journey. Aging is an inevitable confrontation with ourselves—physically, mentally, and spiritually. As we grow older, we face changes that challenge our perceptions of who we are and what we are capable of. Now, at 53, I’ve begun to feel the physical shifts myself. The aches and pains, or “los achaques,” as we say in Spanish, are subtle reminders that time waits for no one. I’m learning to accept that the vitality I once had isn’t always there, and that’s okay.

For a gay man, aging can bring its own set of complexities. Many of us don’t have children, and some don’t have the traditional family structures that others rely on for support in old age. The idea of facing the later years of life alone can be intimidating, especially as our health and strength become more uncertain. The body, with all its imperfections, begins to show the toll of time—whether from our habits, our choices, or simply our genetic inheritance. But in this recognition, there’s also a sense of liberation, an understanding that the human body is, in many ways, like a vehicle. It carries us through life’s journeys, and as with any vehicle, wear and tear are inevitable. These changes, however, are not just signs of aging—they are reflections of the lives we’ve lived and the lessons we’ve learned.

Aging with dignity, then, is more than just a personal challenge. It’s a call to action—a reminder that we must also respect and honor those who are on this journey with us. Paul Thompson’s philosophy of compassion toward older generations has deeply influenced the way I view this process. It has opened my eyes to the importance of treating aging not as a burden, but as a phase of life that deserves respect, care, and understanding.

As I look ahead, I feel a renewed sense of purpose. Aging is not something to fear, but something to embrace with curiosity and grace. With God’s guidance, I hope to continue learning how to help others navigate this process with the dignity they deserve. Mr. Thompson’s lessons on aging, compassion, and the value of each stage of life have left a lasting mark on me. His wisdom lives on, not only in my memories but in the way I choose to live and the way I hope to help others do the same.

Thank you, Mr. Thompson, for showing me that every season of life holds its own beauty, and for teaching me the importance of compassion and respect as we all move through this journey together.

With all my heart, thank you.

—Edwin Gil

Finding Calm After the Storm: A Journey Toward Inner Peace.

These last few days, amidst festivals, storms, and the constant flow of work, I’ve found myself reflecting deeply on the phrase, “after the storm comes the calm.” It resonates with me now more than ever. The importance of being at peace with yourself and your surroundings cannot be overstated, especially when it comes to mental health. Inner peace, something I’ve learned to value at a different level with the passing of years, is a gift. It’s a grounding force that brings clarity and balance, even in the face of life’s fiercest storms.

In my own journey, I gave priority to my art, to my dreams, and to healing from a scar that deeply affected my behavior. This scar from my past shaped many aspects of who I am today. It wasn’t until I faced that wound head-on, truly examined its impact, and learned to live in harmony with the person I’ve become, that I realized it was one of the biggest storms I’ve ever weathered. Confronting that part of myself, accepting it, and choosing to grow from it has been a transformative process.

As I look back, I can now consciously recognize certain behaviors I once used as defense mechanisms. At the time, they were automatic, ways to shield myself from further harm. But with this awareness comes the ability to recognize similar mechanisms in others. And this understanding draws a beautiful parallel with nature.

In nature, every species develops its own defense mechanisms, responding to the challenges they face each day. These adaptations become their survival skills, helping them thrive in their environments. Now imagine trying to survive with a set of skills that don't quite fit the environment you're in. What would you do? You’d adapt, of course. You’d find ways to survive by creating new strategies that suit your circumstances.

I believe the key lies in identifying those habits that may no longer serve us and beginning to cultivate more universal habits—ones that allow us to navigate the sea of opportunities without losing sight of ourselves and our personal goals. After all, the ultimate aim is to build a life that fills your soul with happiness and makes you the special person you are.

There will always be storms—cyclones, hurricanes, even monsoons—that shake us, pushing us into uncomfortable situations. But in those moments of turbulence, remember that calm will always follow. And understand that these storms are simply a process of reprogramming, a chance to rewrite the script of your life, one storm at a time.

Each storm is a teacher, showing us something new about ourselves and the world around us. The calm that follows is the reward for enduring, for adapting, for choosing to continue growing, no matter how strong the winds may blow.

The Heart of It All: A Journey of Love, Loss, and Authenticity

As I prepare to unveil my newest art series, I’m filled with a deep sense of anticipation—not just for the exhibition, but for the personal journey that has brought me to this moment. This latest work, centered around the heart, is more than a reflection of my artistic growth; it’s a testament to the profound life changes that have transformed the very essence of who I am.

Since moving back from the West Coast, life has brought a whirlwind of changes, both external and internal. Yet, none has been as significant or as emotionally transformative as the loss of my mother. Her passing has been a painful yet powerful catalyst, drawing my family together in ways I never imagined possible. Through this shared grief, we have found a new level of closeness, breaking down long-standing barriers and reconnecting on a deeply human level. This closeness, this rediscovery of family, has become the fuel for my latest creations.

My new series, centered on the heart, is born from this raw emotion—love, loss, connection, and the rediscovery of authenticity. Each piece is a reflection of the walls I have spent my life building, and more recently, dismantling. For much of my life, I have been driven by an almost relentless pursuit of success, pushing myself to the limits in everything I do. This drive, while fruitful, also came with a cost: the emotional walls I erected to protect myself from vulnerability, from being truly seen.

But now, as those walls crumble, I’m reconnecting not only with my family but with my truest self. This process has been deeply humbling, and it is from this place of vulnerability that my new series emerges. The heart, after all, is not just a symbol of love but of strength, resilience, and transformation. These works are about more than just the physical heart—they are about the emotional and spiritual heart, the core of who we are when we allow ourselves to truly feel, to connect, and to live authentically.

For those of you who have followed my work over the years, you know that my art has always been deeply personal. But this series is different. It represents a turning point in my life—a moment where I’ve stopped chasing the societal idea of success and started embracing the richness that comes from living with authenticity and love. I believe many of you will see pieces of your own journey reflected in this series—the walls we build, the vulnerability we fear, and the profound beauty that comes from tearing those walls down.

As I prepare to unveil this collection, I invite you to join me in exploring the heart—not just as a physical organ, but as the emotional center of our lives. These pieces are my way of sharing this journey with you, of offering a window into the deeply personal transformation I’ve undergone, and of celebrating the power of love, connection, and family.

This blog is dedicated to my family, the ones who have been by my side through every high and low. They are my inspiration, and it is through them that I’ve learned the true meaning of strength, resilience, and love. I am proud of who they are, of how we’ve come together in the face of loss, and of how we are learning to embrace each other with open hearts.

In just a few short weeks, this series will be revealed, and I couldn’t be more excited to share it with you. It is my hope that, through these pieces, you too will be inspired to reconnect with your own heart, to break down the walls that separate you from your truest self, and to embrace the simple yet profound beauty of living authentically.

Stay tuned for more details on the exhibition, and I look forward to seeing you there—where art, heart, and humanity meet.

Navigating the Jungle of Life: Choosing Myself and the Heart Within

Life is often a jungle—wild, unpredictable, and full of twists that force us to adapt and grow. We wander through it, seeking clarity and meaning, often discovering more about ourselves along the way than we expect. It is in these moments of vulnerability and challenge that we are molded, evolving into a truer version of ourselves. Recently, my own path led me to an encounter that ignited something deep within—an awareness, an awakening sparked by a connection that felt like pure magic.

There was a magnetic energy in this person, a kind of brilliance that made me pause and reflect. What drew me in wasn't merely fascination with them, but a realization of what they represented within me—a mirror to parts of my own heart that needed to be confronted. This person, in all their vibrancy, unknowingly became a catalyst for one of the most profound decisions I’ve made: to choose myself first.

In the intricate web of relationships, we often forget that the most important one is the one we have with ourselves. Each encounter we have in life is a reminder that we are irreplaceable in the grand puzzle of existence. If we lose sight of our value, if we suppress our core truth to fit into someone else’s narrative, it creates an inner tension that erodes our joy. The soul begins to fracture, piece by piece, when we don’t honor our own needs and desires. I learned that choosing yourself isn’t a selfish act—it’s an act of survival and self-respect.

This realization was not easy to come by. Letting go of someone who felt like magic is one of the hardest things to do. Yet, in this process, I discovered that choosing myself was not about rejection—it was about recognition. I recognized my own worth, my own magic, and in doing so, I reclaimed my power.

As I reflect on this journey, I realize that validation in life comes in two forms:

1. The Heart-Centered Approach: There are those whose value lies in their passion, love, and respect for life. These individuals lead with sincerity and kindness, viewing the world through a lens of connection, empathy, and authenticity. They find fulfillment not in what they have, but in who they are and how they touch the lives of others. Their joy is derived from the simple yet profound act of being present and wholehearted.

2. The Practicality of Achievement: On the other hand, some are validated by their ability to navigate life through practical measures—financial success, future planning, and external achievements. Their worth is often defined by societal standards, the accolades they earn, and the tangible outcomes they produce. Recognition comes from what they can show rather than what they feel.

In my heart, I have always been drawn to the former. I find validation in passion, in the intangible essence of respect, and in the depth of character. Success, for me, is measured not by what we acquire but by how deeply we connect with others and with ourselves.

This journey of self-discovery has led me to a new series about the heart, inspired by my experiences. The heart, after all, is not just an organ that sustains life; it’s the compass that guides us toward our true selves. It holds the stories of our past, the weight of our choices, and the promise of our future. Each beat is a reminder that we are alive, that we are worthy, and that we deserve to choose ourselves, even when it’s difficult.

In this new series, I will explore the layers of the heart—its resilience, its vulnerability, and its boundless capacity to heal and transform. The heart teaches us that every encounter, no matter how brief or impactful, leaves an imprint. Some people enter our lives as gentle reminders to realign with our truth, while others serve as pivotal moments that push us to make bold choices.

As I close this chapter, I am grateful for the lessons learned, the growth experienced, and the courage to choose myself. In doing so, I’ve embraced my own magic, the kind that lives within each of us when we honor our heart’s desires.

Here’s to the journey of self-discovery, the heart’s wisdom, and the beauty of choosing yourself—over and over again.

Rediscovering the Inner Child: Balancing Ambition with Authenticity.

This past weekend, I reconnected with a part of myself that had long been neglected—my inner child. Surrounded by family at the beach, I built sandcastles, played, laughed, and shared jokes with my sisters, nephew, and their partners. For many, this might seem like an ordinary experience, but for me, it was profoundly revealing. In the rush of daily life, burdened by responsibilities and the relentless pursuit of goals, I had forgotten how to savor the simple joys.

This trip was a powerful reminder of how modern society pressures us to survive and stand out, often at the expense of our authenticity. Over time, we become chameleons, constantly adapting to meet external expectations, losing touch with who we truly are.

At 50, I now see that much of my life has been focused on achieving goals, on succeeding at all costs, often leading me to lose sight of myself in the process. The constant chase for success can blind us, making us forget the importance of staying true to our essence. Without self-love and a deep understanding of who we are, we risk living in a state of perpetual dissatisfaction.

But it’s never too late to rediscover who we are. Finding balance between our ambitions and our essence is challenging but vital to maintaining our humanity. Embracing our authenticity not only allows us to live more fully, but it also leads to a truer form of success—one measured not by achievements but by inner peace and a genuine connection with ourselves.

This realization ties directly into the inspiration behind my new art series, Heart. This series delves into the journey of reconnecting with our true selves and the courage it takes to live authentically in a world that often demands the opposite. Through my artwork, I explore the emotions of rediscovery, the beauty in vulnerability, and the importance of nurturing our hearts.

Each piece in Heart reflects the delicate balance between chasing our dreams and remaining true to who we are at our core. It serves as a reminder that our hearts are the compass that guides us back to ourselves. As I continue my journey of self-discovery, I hope to inspire others to do the same—to unlock their inner child and find joy in the small but profound moments that make life meaningful.

Exploring the Heart: The Many Faces of Dating and the Role of Emotion

In my latest series, "Discovering the Heart," I delve into the complex and multifaceted nature of our emotional experiences. This journey has led me to uncover how my heart is shaped by both positive and negative habits, especially in the realm of dating. Navigating modern dating can be challenging, but understanding its deeper meaning offers clarity and insight.

Dating, as I’ve come to see, is an opportunity to meet potential partners in an organic manner. This could involve dating multiple people simultaneously—a concept that might seem unconventional but holds its own logic. Engaging with others naturally helps clear the emotional fog that often clouds our judgment when we feel betrayed or hurt. It allows us to cultivate feelings in a more genuine and balanced way.

As an artist, dreamer, and idealist, I’ve often been enchanted by the allure and energy of attraction. While this magical feeling can be intense, it doesn’t always lead to lasting relationships. Nonetheless, it’s a realm I’m familiar with and have explored extensively.

Reflecting on my past, I remember a poignant conversation with my mother before her passing. I shared my struggles with a failing relationship and mentioned that I hadn’t had many boyfriends. She humorously replied that while she couldn’t recall the exact number, she was certain many men had come into my life. I told her it wasn’t more than ten, to which she responded playfully, “Probably more.”

Though the number isn’t precisely ten, I’ve certainly encountered several people throughout my life. Each connection, each spark, is a reminder that we are alive and that life is filled with magical moments. How we navigate these moments can be a profound learning experience—there’s no one-size-fits-all formula. At the core, self-respect and love must guide our journey through dating and emotional exploration.

This reflection is dedicated to someone special who has begun to open my heart in new and meaningful ways. The journey of understanding love and connection is ongoing, and each step teaches us more about ourselves and how we relate to others.

Let us embrace the magic of dating, challenge old patterns, and approach connections with respect and authenticity. In doing so, we honor the heart’s journey and create space for deeper, more fulfilling relationships.

The Power to Transform Your Heart: A New Series on Heart-Centered Living

In my ongoing journey of exploring the many facets of the heart, I find myself deeply immersed in the process of feeling, living, and sharing this incredible experience we call life. Today, I write to you with my heart wide open, ready to share not only my personal reflections but also the foundation of a new series I am creating—one centered on the transformative power of the heart.

The heart, as we all know, is more than just a physical organ. It’s the epicenter of our emotions, a symbol of our deepest connections, and a source of incredible strength. This new series will dive into what it means to live a heart-centered life, embracing all the facets of love, loss, growth, and resilience that shape us.

After each breakup or life challenge, I’ve often heard the same advice: "Take your time to heal." And while time is a crucial part of healing, what I’ve come to understand is that healing doesn’t mean erasing the scars of the past. These scars are not something to be hidden or forgotten—they are a testament to our resilience. They are part of the story that makes us who we are today.

The new series I'm creating will focus on this idea—how our hearts, marked by the ups and downs of life, continue to transform and grow. Each scar, each moment of pain, is an opportunity for deeper understanding and connection, both with ourselves and with others. We’ll explore how the heart can expand even after being broken, how love can re-enter our lives, and how the process of healing can lead to an even more profound sense of self-awareness and purpose.

In this series, I’ll be sharing stories, reflections, and insights that highlight the heart's incredible capacity for transformation. From navigating the complexities of relationships to finding peace within ourselves, this journey will take us through the many ways our hearts shape our lives. We’ll also look at how embracing vulnerability—showing our scars instead of hiding them—can open doors to deeper connections and more meaningful experiences.

Opening your heart after being hurt is never easy. It reveals those hidden scars, and the fear of being vulnerable again can be overwhelming. But remember, every emotion, every heartbeat, is a reminder that you are alive and living fully. The act of opening your heart, despite the risks, is an act of bravery that speaks to the true power of the heart—to transform pain into strength and vulnerability into connection.

This series is not just about healing; it’s about celebrating the journey itself. It’s about recognizing that our scars are beautiful, that they tell the story of who we are and who we’re becoming. It’s about finding the courage to continue opening our hearts, no matter what we’ve been through.

Join me in this exploration of heart-centered living. Let’s celebrate the strength in vulnerability, the courage it takes to open our hearts, and the beauty in the scars that make us uniquely who we are. Together, we will explore how our hearts can transform, heal, and grow—continuously creating a deeper, richer connection to life itself.

The Heart: Beyond Its Biological Function

In the realm of art, certain projects transcend their initial intent, sparking profound personal and creative transformations. One such project was a recent commission I completed for two dear friends, Melissa and Sean. This art piece, which delved deeply into the intricate symbolism of the heart, ignited a transformative journey for me, exploring this vital organ far beyond its biological role.

Crafting this artwork was not merely about creating a visually striking piece; it was an opportunity to unravel the complex layers of meaning that the heart embodies in both our physical and symbolic worlds. Traditionally seen as a universal symbol of love, vitality, courage, and connection, the heart assumed a new dimension through this project, prompting me to reflect on its deeper significance in our lives.

Inspired by this creative journey, I embarked on a new exploration to understand the heart's multifaceted symbolism. This blog, "The Heart: Beyond Its Biological Function," seeks to delve into the various symbolic interpretations of the heart and how these meanings intertwine with our personal experiences and artistic expressions.

Let’s explore the heart’s symbolism—from its representation of love and passion to its spiritual and existential connotations. Join me as we uncover how the heart, both as a vital organ and as a symbol, connects us to the essence of life and to each other.

The Heart: A Vital Organ and Symbolic Powerhouse

The heart is a crucial organ in the human body and that of other animals, renowned primarily for its role in pumping blood through the circulatory system. Positioned at the center of the chest, slightly tilted to the left, the heart consists of four chambers: two atria (upper chambers) and two ventricles (lower chambers). Its essential functions include:

Pumping Blood: The heart receives deoxygenated blood from the body through the veins and sends it to the lungs to be oxygenated. It then pumps oxygen-rich blood to the rest of the body.

Maintaining Circulation: It regulates blood pressure and ensures continuous blood flow to organs and tissues, facilitating the delivery of oxygen and nutrients while removing waste products.

Regulating Heart Rhythm: The heart's electrical conduction system manages its rhythm and coordinates contractions to maintain efficient circulation.

Beyond its biological role, the heart holds profound symbolic and emotional significance across various cultures. Here are some notable symbolic interpretations:

Symbol of Love and Passion: Universally, the heart signifies romantic love, passion, and affection. Its stylized shape appears in art, literature, and popular culture to convey deep emotional connections.

Symbol of Life and Vitality: In artistic representations, the heart symbolizes the essence of life, vitality, and our connection to existence itself.

Representation of Courage and Bravery: The heart is often associated with courage and bravery. Expressions like "a brave heart" or "heart of a lion" evoke the idea of facing challenges with determination and strength.

Spiritual Symbolism: Many spiritual and religious traditions view the heart as the center of the inner self, the soul, or a divine connection. It symbolizes purity, compassion, and spirituality.

Metaphor for Desire and Hope: The heart can represent desires, aspirations, and hopes. It is frequently used in art and literature to express deep yearnings and personal dreams.

Symbol of Unity and Connection: The heart reflects the idea of interconnectedness through shared emotions and experiences.

In art, the heart is depicted in various forms and styles, from realistic anatomical representations to abstract and stylized interpretations. Its shape and color often convey a wide range of emotions and concepts, making it a powerful and multifaceted symbol.

After reflecting on these interpretations, I have come to see the heart as more than just a vital organ—it represents the essence of life and its various processes, including transformation and change. I am now curious: how many types of hearts can exist, and how many have we encountered or shared in our existence?

The artistic exploration of this vital organ, which symbolizes many facets of our life, has inspired me to delve deeper into its creative possibilities. The commissioned piece for Melissa and Sean has sparked this new exploration.

I would love to hear how you define your own heart and where it stands at this moment. Let’s embark on this journey of discovery together. If you are interested in participating in this exploration that will contribute to my new series, please share your thoughts or email me at edwin@edwingil.com. Join one of the sessions I plan to hold at my home to discuss our hearts. Thank you for your interest and participation!

Questionnaire: Where Is Your Heart?

1. Symbol of Love and Passion: Does your heart currently resonate with feelings of romantic love, passion, or deep affection?

2. Symbol of Life and Vitality: Is your heart aligned with a sense of vitality, energy, and connection to the essence of life?

3. Representation of Courage and Bravery: Is your heart embodying courage and bravery, facing challenges with determination and strength?

4. Spiritual Symbolism: Is your heart connected to a sense of spirituality, purity, or divine connection?

5. Metaphor for Desire and Hope: Is your heart focused on desires, aspirations, or hopes for the future?

6. Symbol of Unity and Connection: Is your heart reflecting a sense of unity and connection with others through shared emotions and experiences?

Would you like to participate in a group meeting to discuss your heart's place on this spectrum?

• Yes

• No

Feel free to share your thoughts and let me know if you want to be part of the upcoming sessions. Your insights will enrich the creative process and exploration of the heart's symbolic meaning in my new series.

Embracing Renewal at 52: A Journey of Self-Discovery and Transformation!

At 52, the concept of rebirth has taken on a profound and deeply personal significance for me. My journey toward self-discovery and transformation has been a long and intricate one, involving the challenge of confronting old habits and deeply ingrained beliefs that once shaped my view of life. These beliefs, while once necessary to navigate the traumas and processes of my youth, have also held me back from fully embracing who I am and what I can become.

In this quest for existential meaning, I have immersed myself in various forms of introspection and expression. I’ve read extensively, written passionately, painted fervently, and engaged in every conceivable activity to find a deeper sense of purpose. From crying and talking to running and shouting, I’ve explored every avenue to unearth a new understanding of existence.

It was during this time of introspection that my sisters introduced me to a Maya who had guided them through different phases of their lives, helping them see things from a new perspective. This Maya had been instrumental in their healing process and understanding of certain behavioral patterns, particularly in dealing with the loss of our mother. Intrigued, I decided to meet with him, a decision for which I am profoundly grateful, especially to Sandy, who generously covered the cost of the consultation and provided me with this transformative opportunity.

During our session, the Maya asked for my birth date, my name, and details about my parents. He then remarked, “You are transitioning from doing what you want to doing what you really want.” His words made me chuckle, but they were profound. According to Maya wisdom, life’s cycle culminates at 52, marking the beginning of a new phase of renewal and a shift in life’s perspective.

I found further insight online about the Maya cycle of 52 years, which explained that their intricate understanding of time and calendars culminated in a cycle that repeated every 52 years. This period was of special significance, symbolizing the end of a great cycle and the start of a new one, filled with the energy of renewal. This cycle, deeply rooted in their sophisticated calendar systems, signified a fresh start and a chance to shed the old and embrace the new.

The alignment of these insights with my own experiences was striking. They resonated with the sense I’ve had over the past years of shedding old habits and confronting my way of thinking to discover life from a new perspective. It seems that turning fifty is indeed a time of significant transformation, as many I’ve spoken to have noted a radical shift in their thoughts and vision for the future.

As I continue on this path, I anticipate confronting and letting go of many things from my past and making countless mistakes as part of my learning process. However, what I now embrace with clarity is the resolve to live my life fully, respecting and embracing who I am. There’s no more time to waste in this precious and colorful existence. From now on, I intend to live life as I truly desire—authentically and unapologetically.

Reflections on Friendship, Football, and Life’s Perspective

Some time ago, I was talking with a friend about a situation I don't fully remember, but it involved the abrupt end of a friendship due to a disagreement. She used a comparison that stuck with me: a house can be very beautiful, but if you enter and there's a horrible painting inside, the only thing you'll remember from the visit is that awful painting. This is how she described the situation that led to the end of that relationship.

This reflection became especially relevant to me recently during the Copa America in Charlotte NC. I experienced a rollercoaster of emotions, culminating in being expelled from the stadium because my phone, which had my ticket, ran out of battery. This experience made me realize that there are situations that can tarnish a moment of joy, but the perspective from which we view each situation depends on our flexibility and attitude towards life.

Some people will only see the ugly painting inside the house. Others will look at the painting with more compassion and will be able to appreciate other corners of the house. And there are those who won't pay attention to the painting at all, but instead to the overall experience inside the house. In the end, the house is just a physical concept, and what truly matters is the love, compassion, and energy within it, which give it the real sense of home and welcome.

As I walked back to my apartment, in shock from being expelled from the stadium, I walked with the conviction that everything happens for a reason. Perhaps my place at that moment was to be in my apartment, contemplating the wall where I will put the masterpiece that I will create with energy, compassion, love, and passion. Because I have always believed that this is what truly makes a place a home.

Each experience, whether good or bad, offers us a valuable lesson. And although we may sometimes get caught up in the negative aspects, it is important to remember to look beyond and find the beauty and learning in every corner of our lives. It is our perspective and attitude that define how we will live our experiences and how we will build our home, both physically and emotionally.

Embracing Change: The Duality of Progress and Loss

Change is often celebrated as a sign of progress, a step forward towards something new and exciting. We frequently say that change is good because it symbolizes advancement and growth. However, change can also bring uncertainty, challenges, fear, and melancholy.

Recently, I've experienced a series of changes that, thankfully, have been positive for me. These changes have brought a sense of exhilaration and renewal, fueling my desire for growth and the pursuit of new challenges. This feeling of excitement has made me reflect on a different time in my life when I was grappling with loss and change, experiencing a completely different set of emotions.

In reflecting on these experiences, I've noticed how change and loss, though seemingly opposite, share a profound connection. They both disrupt our routines and force us to confront new realities. I see three individuals currently navigating their own losses, each handling their process in a unique way. This doesn’t mean one approach is better or more valid than another; loss is loss, and change can sometimes be interpreted as loss.

What is more important is recognizing that changes, much like loss, are opportunities for growth, despite the pain and discomfort they may cause. When change stems from loss, it often brings about a period of deep reflection and personal growth. This growth, while not always immediate, eventually leads to a greater understanding of ourselves and our place in the world.

Change and loss push us out of our comfort zones and challenge us to adapt. The journey through these experiences is often difficult, but the potential for growth and the lessons learned along the way make it worthwhile. Embracing change means accepting the duality of progress and loss, understanding that each has its place in our lives.

In conclusion, change and loss, though often painful, are integral to our personal development. They teach us resilience, compassion, and the importance of embracing the unknown. By accepting the discomfort and uncertainty that come with change, we open ourselves up to new possibilities and deeper growth. Life’s most profound transformations often come from the places where we feel the most vulnerable. It is in these moments of change and loss that we discover our true strength and capacity for growth.

Shedding Layers of Personality

I have spent days, even months, shedding layers of my personality that were deeply rooted and difficult to identify due to the routine we create in life. We wrap ourselves in layers of experiences, good behavior, desires, goals, bad behavior, vices, and other aspects that shape our conduct. Peeling away this mountain of behaviors in a healthy way, allowing us to keep only what makes us better beings, is a complicated process. There are patterns ingrained in our DNA that sometimes make us act automatically in response to certain triggering circumstances.

I don't believe there are bad people, but rather bad choices that lead us to act negatively in different situations. That's when the animal instinct kicks in, and we switch to survival mode. Undoubtedly, at 52 years old, I have made many decisions that ended in unexpected outcomes, turning into life experiences that left scars tattooed on my personality.

A series of situations led me to hit rock bottom and confront my behavior in various circumstances. This led me to start facing those layers, uprooting them from my being like peeling a dragon fruit to find its sweet pulp. Perhaps all those layers that harden us in life are there to protect us so we can grow internally. In the hostile environment of society, we must protect that sweet being inside us.

This analogy leaves many questions within me. The only thing I know is that discovering behavioral patterns, confronting them, transcending them, and not allowing them to affect us or those around us is our responsibility. It is a continuous and challenging process, but essential for our personal evolution.

This journey of self-discovery and unrooting layers has not only allowed me to know myself better but also to act with greater authenticity and compassion. Each removed layer reveals a more authentic version of myself, allowing me to live with more freedom and purpose. True transformation begins from within, and only by confronting our deepest layers can we reach our highest potential and well-being.

I hope this reflection on my process of self-discovery resonates with you and inspires you to embark on your own journey of shedding layers to reveal your authentic self.

Letting Go: A Journey of Self-Discovery and Growth

"Letting go" — wow, letting go of the people we care about and managing detachment is one of the most challenging life lessons for me. When I delve into the root of the fears I feel when we talk about changing the nature or label of a relationship, be it familial, friendship, or professional, something internal makes me feel uncomfortable. It's as if a part of me gets lost and never returns.

In exploring why losing a relationship generates this feeling in me, I encounter various factors: fear of loneliness, emotional investment, emotional attachment, self-esteem and personal security, life changes, fear of change, shared identity, among others. By delving deeper into why this feeling exists, I discover a series of repetitive patterns that have been programmed into my identity since childhood, influenced by multiple familial and cultural factors. One of the main and common ones is acceptance.

This exploration leads me to reflect on self-love, as I've noticed a certain pattern of seeking acceptance to feel validated, which shouldn't affect me. This is where the internal struggle creates a sense of discomfort and unease. I have often recounted the poor relationship I had with my father for multiple reasons, which led me to build a shell that prevented any closeness with him, and even less, any justification.

Time passed, and neither of us did anything to try to remedy that discomfort and enmity. Until recently, after my mother passed away, he moved to the United States, and we began to establish a relationship, to get to know each other. It has been interesting to get to know the progenitor from whom I come into this world and also to see the patterns in me that I identify in him. This leads me to the conclusion that there are many genetic behavioral patterns we all carry that make us behave in certain ways in different life situations, such as love and loss.

Discovering this, I conclude that our behavior is not only influenced by cultural/social programming but also depends on a genetic process that drives us to act in certain ways in different life situations. Therapy and becoming aware of the patterns that lead us to act in certain ways in uncomfortable situations are crucial. We need to question whether these patterns make sense and why.

Father, it has been a pleasure getting to know you and learning where I come from. I will miss you. Best of luck with your life.

This blog post serves as a reflection on the complexities of letting go, the deep-rooted fears associated with it, and the journey toward understanding and healing those fears. It's a personal narrative that sheds light on the influence of both cultural and genetic factors on our behavior and emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and therapy in overcoming these challenges.

Embracing the Struggle: A Journey of Authenticity and Self-Discovery

The last few weeks have been an uphill battle for me in terms of writing. It's not just about putting words on a page; it's about confronting the deeper internal struggle of breaking old patterns, striving to do things right, avoiding excuses, and holding onto hope amidst adversity. This is the battle I find myself immersed in at this very moment.

As I sit on my bed, reflecting on a delightful dinner with close friends, a flood of thoughts and ideas rush into my mind. Among them, the most pressing one is the urge to write—to be genuine and true to myself. So here I am, baring my soul through these words, realizing once again that the most intense battle in life is with oneself. It’s a battle against the beliefs and scars we accumulate from childhood, which shape our identity in profound ways.

These beliefs and scars navigate through the multicultural tapestry of humanity. They are like deep etchings on our soul, reminders of our experiences and the journey we have undertaken. From a young age, we are molded by societal expectations and personal experiences, leaving us with wounds that may never fully heal. Yet, these scars are a testament to our existence, a reflection of our resilience and growth. They are not to be hidden or disguised but embraced for what they represent—a testament to our journey and the strength we have gained along the way.

When I speak about the vibrant multiculturalism that defines my identity, it fills me with immense pride. This is not a scar I bear with regret; rather, it is a badge of honor, akin to a child wearing their Scout uniform with pride after receiving their first badge. Multiculturalism is a part of who I am, a symbol of the rich tapestry of experiences and cultures that have shaped my life. It is a source of strength and a reminder of the beauty of diversity.

Writing this, I realize that the complexity of my internal struggles and mental games may not be easily deciphered by everyone. However, I hope that something from my linguistic energy resonates with you, reaching your heart and sparking a connection. Life is a journey of self-discovery and authenticity, and we all carry our unique scars and stories. By embracing them, we find strength and pride in our journey.

Thank you for joining me on this path of self-discovery and for allowing my words to touch your heart. Let us continue to navigate the colorful and multicultural tapestry of humanity with pride and authenticity.

The Good, The Bad, and The Power of Words: A Reflection

Definitely, energies work in the way we allow them to. A while ago, after ending a relationship that taught me much and for which I am grateful, something happened that left a lasting impression on me. In the whirlwind of situations leading to our final argument, which caused us to react unfavorably, my ex-partner pulled out a piece of paper and read aloud a curse filled with malice, hatred, and rage. He then sent it to me via text message. At that moment, I paid little attention to it, but as time passed, various unfortunate events started to unfold from that day until a few weeks ago.

Losing everything, as it turns out, was necessary for cleansing and transcending. Hurting and wishing ill upon someone can have a permanent effect, acting like a cancer that consumes the soul. This realization hit home especially as I witnessed my mother’s suffering. I share this recognition because, until a few weeks ago, I had given power to those words and that curse you cast upon me. I thank God for freeing me from what I believed was something good but never was.

Contrary to the malice and curse you bestowed upon me, I wish you all the happiness in the world. At one point in my life, you were a special person to me.

The Power of Words: A Positive Reflection

Words have immense power. They can build up or tear down, heal or hurt, bless or curse. In the aftermath of my relationship, I learned this firsthand. Words, whether spoken or written, carry energy that can profoundly impact our lives and the lives of others.

The Good

Words can be a source of incredible good. They can uplift, inspire, and bring joy. A kind word at the right moment can change someone’s day, or even their life. Positive affirmations, expressions of love, and words of encouragement are like seeds planted in the heart, eventually blossoming into self-confidence and happiness.

The Bad

On the flip side, words can also cause significant harm. Negative words, insults, and curses can wound deeply, sometimes leaving scars that last a lifetime. The curse I received from my ex-partner is a stark reminder of this. It unleashed a series of unfortunate events in my life, proving how destructive negative energy can be when given power.

The Power

Ultimately, the power of words lies in how we choose to perceive and respond to them. For a long time, I allowed those negative words to affect me, giving them power over my life. But recently, I chose to reclaim my power. I decided to forgive and let go, replacing negative energy with positive affirmations and blessings. This shift in mindset has brought peace and healing into my life.

A Message of Reflection

Reflecting on this experience, I realize that it’s not just about the words themselves, but about the energy and intent behind them. When we speak or write, we are casting out energy into the world. It’s crucial to be mindful of this and strive to spread positivity and kindness.

To my ex-partner, despite the harm caused, I choose to send you love and happiness. At some point, you were a special part of my life, and for that, I am grateful. By releasing the negative energy and embracing forgiveness, I have found peace and strength.

In conclusion, let’s all be aware of the power our words hold. Let’s use them to uplift and inspire, to spread love and kindness. By doing so, we can create a more positive and compassionate world. Remember, the energy you give is the energy you receive. Choose to be a force for good.

Art Saved My Life - How You Can Help Others Through Art

In times of struggle and uncertainty, art has the power to heal, inspire, and transform. For me, art has been more than just a creative outlet—it has been a lifeline. It has guided me through some of the darkest moments of my life and has shown me the light at the end of the tunnel.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, like many others, I found myself grappling with feelings of isolation and anxiety. The world seemed to be spinning out of control, and I struggled to find stability and meaning in my life. Once again, art became my therapy, my catharsis, as a form of therapy and self-expression. After I moved back to Charlotte and experienced personal success, which fed my soul, it helped me grow internally and make the necessary changes in my process to become a better human.

Art became my safe haven, a place where I could escape from the chaos of the world and channel my emotions onto canvas. Through painting and drawing, I found a sense of purpose and clarity that had eluded me for so long. Art became my voice, my way of communicating with the world and making sense of my experiences.

But art didn't just save me—it also gave me a way to help others. I realized that my art could be a source of comfort and inspiration for those going through similar struggles. That's when I decided to create hand-painted holiday cards, each one a unique piece of art filled with love and hope.

These cards are more than just a piece of paper—they are a symbol of resilience and strength. They carry a message of hope and positivity, reminding us all that even in the darkest of times, there is light to be found. And with each card sold, a portion of the proceeds goes towards supporting mental health initiatives, ensuring that others can find solace in art just like I did.

So, this holiday season, consider sending a hand-painted card to your loved ones. Not only will you be spreading joy and cheer, but you'll also be supporting a cause that is near and dear to my heart. Together, we can make a difference, one brushstroke at a time.

Thank you for joining me on this journey of healing and hope. Together, we can help others find their light through art.

Warm regards,

Please complete the form to place your order. An invoice will be sent for payment prior to shipping.

Place your order here

Embracing Vulnerability: Reflections on Shedding Our Shells

In our journey through life, we often find ourselves encased in shells—protective layers that shield us from the outside world. These shells can take many forms: fear, pride, perfectionism. They serve a purpose, keeping us safe from harm and disappointment. But what happens when these shells become confining, preventing us from truly living and connecting with others?

Vulnerability is often seen as a weakness, a state to be avoided at all costs. We equate vulnerability with being exposed, defenseless, and open to hurt. However, what if vulnerability is not a weakness, but a strength? What if vulnerability is the key to living a fuller, more authentic life?

When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we open ourselves up to new experiences and deeper connections. We let go of the need to be perfect and embrace our imperfections. We acknowledge our fears and insecurities, allowing us to move past them. We become more empathetic and compassionate towards others, recognizing that we are all human and all struggling in our own ways.

Shedding our shells is not easy. It requires courage and a willingness to be uncomfortable. It means stepping out of our comfort zones and facing our fears head-on. But the rewards are worth it. When we embrace vulnerability, we become more resilient, more authentic, and more alive.

So, let us embrace vulnerability. Let us shed our shells and open ourselves up to the richness of life. Let us connect with others on a deeper level and experience the true beauty of being human.

"The Inner Child and Self-Love: A Journey of Healing and Understanding"

From a young age, I always heard my grandmother talk about "que pesar," which loosely translates to "what a pity" in English. She used this phrase to describe the hardships and needs we faced as children, highlighting the basic and essential necessities for existence. It took me a while to understand this concept, as I had no reference point. What intrigued me was that this phrase seemed to run in the family; everyone would say "que pesar," whether it was for one thing or another.

Growing up, I was surrounded by the love of my paternal grandmother, the hardships of life, and the collective sighs of "que pesar" from the community. As an adult, I find myself in a daily battle with this concept. After therapy and failed relationships, I've come to realize that "que pesar" is a part of my inner child—the child I speak to every day, trying to educate and discipline, as this child throws tantrums. A significant part of its structure is the "que pesar" mindset.

I've reached a point where I have to reprimand this inner child to avoid falling into the spiral that has led me to numerous situations for which I take responsibility. However, I cannot turn back time to change them. Through this internal search, I've also identified a lack of self-love. It's fascinating how the programming we carry in our "hard drive," whether cultural or familial, affects our behavior. At times, it's so ingrained in our personalities that it's challenging to see this spoiled child or the lack of self-love justified by social beliefs or cultural programming.

During a recent work meeting, a close friend shared with me her experience of reading a book called "Be Water," which taught her to silence that inner voice and not just listen to it but educate it. She referred to this inner voice as "The Inner Child." This voice can lead us to problems or even depression, frustration, and/or poor decision-making. In conclusion, the behavior of your inner voice (or Inner Child) may be the result of conditioning during childhood, but it can be educated when confronted.

I'm currently in the process of educating this little voice and showing it how wonderful we are in this colorful world called life.

The Path to Life's Purpose: A Reflection on Transformation and Inspiration

(Para leer este artículo en español, desplázate hacia abajo hasta el final del texto.)

After the recent loss of my mother, I have reflected on how this transformation has impacted my life and work. Her passing has led me to question those moments when we feel lost and adrift in life, a period of deep introspection, especially as I watch my father mourn the loss of his wife.

Since I was young, I have ardently wished for my sisters to find opportunities in life. I have dedicated myself to showing them that effort can change our reality, opening their eyes to a world of possibilities beyond our immediate surroundings. They have been my motivation, propelling me to seek new opportunities and strive for a better life.

Over the years, I have seen my sisters embark on their own paths, which fills me with happiness as I see how they have flourished thanks to the seed I planted in them. However, this change has also led me to a crossroads. The life project I had cultivated like a garden has transformed into butterflies ready to fly. Initially, I believed my new purpose would be to care for these butterflies, symbolizing transformation and migration to new horizons. My mother's loss has reminded me of how fragile life is and how changes can leave us disoriented.

I have always believed that life speaks to us in different ways and that there is an algorithm that perceives our energy and the moment we are living in. Recently, in a conversation with a friend, I discovered that his daughter is exploring life's purpose and its evolution through a podcast. This conversation resonated deeply with me. I firmly believe that our purpose as human beings is eternal and lies in doing good. However, often our ego blinds us, causing us to overlook the beauty of simplicity and the everyday moments that shape our lives.

Like a parent watching their children leave the nest, I too have experienced a mix of relief and nostalgia as I watched my sisters embark on their own paths, leaving me in search of a new purpose. Today, as an artist and development leader, I embark on a new initiative. Inspired by the transformation of butterflies, this project aims to help others find their purpose in life.

Like immigrants who come to this country in search of new opportunities, this initiative aims to be a catalyst for life stories to flourish, becoming butterflies that leave an indelible mark on our community. This journey of personal and family transformation reminds me of the beauty of life's purpose and the power of inspiration to guide us on our path.

By Edwin Gil

El Camino hacia el Propósito de Vida: Una Reflexión sobre Transformación e Inspiración

Tras la reciente pérdida de mi madre, he reflexionado sobre cómo esta transformación ha impactado mi vida y trabajo. Su partida me ha llevado a cuestionar esos momentos en los que nos sentimos perdidos y sin rumbo en la vida, una etapa de introspección profunda, especialmente al ver a mi padre lamentar la pérdida de su esposa.

Desde joven, he deseado arduamente que mis hermanas encuentren oportunidades en la vida. Me he dedicado a mostrarles que el esfuerzo puede cambiar nuestra realidad, abriéndoles los ojos a un mundo de posibilidades más allá de nuestro entorno inmediato. Ellas han sido mi motivación, impulsándome a buscar nuevas oportunidades y a esforzarme por una vida mejor.

Con el paso de los años, he visto a mis hermanas emprender sus propios caminos, lo cual me llena de felicidad al ver cómo han florecido gracias a la semilla que planté en ellas. Sin embargo, este cambio también me ha llevado a una encrucijada. El proyecto de vida que había cultivado como un jardín se ha transformado en mariposas listas para volar. Inicialmente, creía que mi nuevo propósito sería cuidar de estas mariposas, simbolizando la transformación y la migración hacia nuevos horizontes. La pérdida de mi madre me ha recordado lo frágil que es la vida y cómo los cambios pueden dejarnos desorientados.

Siempre he creído que la vida nos habla de diferentes formas y que existe un algoritmo que percibe nuestra energía y el momento que estamos viviendo. Recientemente, en una conversación con un amigo, descubrí que su hija está explorando el propósito de la vida y su evolución a través de un podcast. Esta charla resonó profundamente en mí. Creo firmemente que nuestro propósito como seres humanos es eterno y radica en hacer el bien. Sin embargo, a menudo nuestro ego nos ciega, haciéndonos pasar por alto la belleza de la simplicidad y los momentos cotidianos que dan forma a nuestras vidas.

Como un padre que ve partir a sus hijos del nido, también he experimentado una mezcla de alivio y nostalgia al ver a mis hermanas emprender sus propios caminos, dejándome en busca de un nuevo propósito. Hoy, como artista y líder de desarrollo, me embarco en una nueva iniciativa. Inspirado en la transformación de las mariposas, este proyecto tiene como objetivo ayudar a otros a encontrar su propósito en la vida.

Al igual que los inmigrantes que llegan a este país en busca de nuevas oportunidades, esta iniciativa busca ser un catalizador para que las historias de vida florezcan, convirtiéndose en mariposas que dejen una huella imborrable en nuestra comunidad. Este viaje de transformación personal y familiar me recuerda la belleza del propósito de vida y el poder de la inspiración para guiarnos en nuestro camino.