Letting Go: A Journey of Self-Discovery and Growth
"Letting go" — wow, letting go of the people we care about and managing detachment is one of the most challenging life lessons for me. When I delve into the root of the fears I feel when we talk about changing the nature or label of a relationship, be it familial, friendship, or professional, something internal makes me feel uncomfortable. It's as if a part of me gets lost and never returns.
In exploring why losing a relationship generates this feeling in me, I encounter various factors: fear of loneliness, emotional investment, emotional attachment, self-esteem and personal security, life changes, fear of change, shared identity, among others. By delving deeper into why this feeling exists, I discover a series of repetitive patterns that have been programmed into my identity since childhood, influenced by multiple familial and cultural factors. One of the main and common ones is acceptance.
This exploration leads me to reflect on self-love, as I've noticed a certain pattern of seeking acceptance to feel validated, which shouldn't affect me. This is where the internal struggle creates a sense of discomfort and unease. I have often recounted the poor relationship I had with my father for multiple reasons, which led me to build a shell that prevented any closeness with him, and even less, any justification.
Time passed, and neither of us did anything to try to remedy that discomfort and enmity. Until recently, after my mother passed away, he moved to the United States, and we began to establish a relationship, to get to know each other. It has been interesting to get to know the progenitor from whom I come into this world and also to see the patterns in me that I identify in him. This leads me to the conclusion that there are many genetic behavioral patterns we all carry that make us behave in certain ways in different life situations, such as love and loss.
Discovering this, I conclude that our behavior is not only influenced by cultural/social programming but also depends on a genetic process that drives us to act in certain ways in different life situations. Therapy and becoming aware of the patterns that lead us to act in certain ways in uncomfortable situations are crucial. We need to question whether these patterns make sense and why.
Father, it has been a pleasure getting to know you and learning where I come from. I will miss you. Best of luck with your life.
This blog post serves as a reflection on the complexities of letting go, the deep-rooted fears associated with it, and the journey toward understanding and healing those fears. It's a personal narrative that sheds light on the influence of both cultural and genetic factors on our behavior and emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and therapy in overcoming these challenges.